I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize