you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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