took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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