I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
