hell yes lets make some ravioli
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
