this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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