How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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