Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
