Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
