We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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