How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
