You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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