Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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