"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
