Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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