you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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