ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
