I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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