This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
