I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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