I have demons in me.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
