Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
