Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize