Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
