I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
