He is an equal opportunity slut.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
