thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
