I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize