i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
