I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
