I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
