Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.

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(260): View more from Indiana

spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

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(816): View more from Missouri

why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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(510): View more from California

It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.

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(408): View more from California

Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.

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