Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
