Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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