Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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