A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
