i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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