I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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