well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
