I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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