I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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