dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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