the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
These tits shall not be calmed
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