Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
