We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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