Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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