the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
