I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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