I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
im six kinds of drunk right now
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
