I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize