I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
