I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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