We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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