hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
