He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
