i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
