I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
