So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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