im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
