how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
so much tequila, so little girl.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
