i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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