Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
