I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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