Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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