You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
