I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
