Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
