best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
its liver damage thursday
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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