There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
