the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
