already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
