Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
