I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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