i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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