so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
