She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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