it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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